Sunday, January 05, 2003
And now, it's time for another entry from yours truly! ^_^
Right now it's gone 11.05PM over here and it's cold as hell! There's frost outside and the window's open in my bedroom because if I get too overheated, I can have a eptileptic attack that way as well as have one from using a computer without a anti-glare screen...
Meanwhile, I'm going to see the doctor about making a appointment for the hospital as I'm scared that the polyp I had removed a while back has returned...
Basically, a few years ago I started to bleed lightly when I went to the toilet on the odd occasion then as time went on it would get heavier until I started to bleed really badly every so often and it got so bad that I ended up having to have a polyp [which is a little piece of skin with diseased blood inside it I guess] removed from inside my butt...
It was a very scary experience and I admit I acted like a total wimp and was practically crying my eyes out even tho a old schoolfriend of mine tried to reassure me by saying everything was going to be OK...
Now I'm worried again especially as I don't want to leave this world without doing some meaningful things like seeing Ruby, seeing the world, reading all kinds of books, that sort of thing....
I didn't think I'd be 30 so soon and yet it's weird I can still remember shows like Battle of the Planets, Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors, Thundercats and Bravestarr when they were first shown!
As for this weblog, I find that it's a wonderful form of therapy and a way to leave my thoughts on all kinds of subjects...
With things being what they are, I'm determined to do what I want to but I keep on wondering why I have so many obstacles placed in my way...
With Ruby, I wonder at times in that if I'm not meant to be with her then who am I meant to be with? When we were together, I felt that she was more than my lover, she was my best friend as we could understand each other in all kinds of things and we shared a bond that I thought could never be broken...
I remember times when I was there for her and she was there for me but I guess I did love her too much but at the same time, I didn't want to be a jerk and love her too little...
I wonder if I'm destined to be alone like my uncle in America...I hope not because that's the one thing that scares me, being alone with only a pet like a dog for companionship...
Is it too much to want to be with someone for the rest of your days, to be there when they need you the most...To share in their joys and in their sorrows...
I do know this...I know that no matter what happens now or in the future, Ruby will always have a special place in my heart especially as she gave me hope once that a girl out there did love me even when I felt all alone in the world...
I just wish I didn't have a family that seems to be selfish, greedy and at each other's throats...Look at the Osbournes, they may have their ups and downs but at the end of the day, they truly do love each other and would do anything for each other especially Ozzy and Sharon...I know I'd rather have the Osbournes as my family than my own, except for my uncle in America, my late grandfather and my grandmother who I live with as they mean a lot to me...
Anyway, I'm just happy that I got my thoughts out as usual and at the same time, I wonder what the next day will bring...
[11:24 PM]
*Name: Jason
*Birthdate: March 13th
*College: Liverpool Community College [Doing iPRO Level 2 Certificate for IT Practitioners (ICT Systems Support)
]
*Email: rune.jayce@gmail.com
Favourites
*Anime and Manga
*Tokusatsu [Japanese Superheroes]
*Densha Otoko [Japanese Drama]
*Videogames; especially RPG's and Fighting Games
Dislikes
*Racism
*Spicy Food
*President Dubya Bush
*Oasis [As in the band]
Wishlist
*To become a good IT Technician
*To visit Japan
Past Tense
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Introduction
Welcome to the new, improved and with added Sexy Anime Babe Factor "BorgmanAlpha's Most Excellent Blog!!!". This is where I like to write down my thoughts when I can about my world and life in general. I hope that you enjoy reading my thoughts and you're more than welcome to leave comments if you wish.