Thursday, January 23, 2003
Hello, Hola, Nihao, Konnichi wa and a big Leiho Ma to the journal that is the story of my life! ^_^
Lately I've been doing a lot of thinking about why me and Ruby broke up and I think now that it may have happened that I showed her too much love and affection somehow or in other words, without realising it, I somehow got clingy and posessive by asking her too much how she was, that sort of thing...
I guess I acted that way without knowing it as I never had much affection as a child and I swore that if I ever got myself a girlfriend then I'd try my best to be there for her as I could never be the type of guy who sleeps around with other girls...
I know I still love her and everything and if I had the chance to go back in time, I'd change it so we didn't break up in the first place...
I also know that as I mentioned in a previous entry, I'm definitely going to dread Valentine's Day when it arrives as I know I won't get any cards this year...
I never got any when I was at comprehensive school even tho I always gave cards to female friends and that and I was always the type of guy that was thought of by girls as friend material, never as a possible boyfriend...
I think the problem today when it comes to romance is that people tend to think of what's on the outside rather than what's on the inside and that most females over here tend to go for guys that are handsome or rich rather than for guys who can give them love and affection.
I admit I may be no Adonis or Kevin Sorbo or Enrique Iglesias in the good-looking guy stakes and I may be scatterbrained at times like Mihoshi from the anime 'Tenchi Muyo!' but when I was with Ruby, I felt that for once in my life, things were going right and that I didn't want my happiness to go away even if I couldn't get a decent job to see her in Singapore...
Meanwhile, I'm still going to be her friend but even if another girl asked me out [which is probably about as likely as me being Pope Jason I], I'd probably turn her down as it would be like cheating on Ruby in a sense...
I'd say that when it comes to love, it has to be one of the most interesting emotions and as I've probably mentioned before, it can make a person and yet break a person as well when their heart gets broken...
It's no fun being on your own especially when Valentine's Day comes up as everybody seems to make such a fuss of it and there are times when I feel like telling people to get a life but I guess there's nothing wrong with being romantic towards a girl especially if you know that she's "The One" you know you want to be with for the rest of your life...
I believe the Japanese word for "Fate or Destiny" is "Ummei".
I don't what my "Ummei" is in life but I'm determined to change it and not take any [pardon my language] bullshit from anybody from now on... I'm sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist whether it's my former employer who sacked me for having epilepsy and risked my health at the same time or anybody who upsets me in anyway [Ruby excepted], I've decided that this year is going to be the year that my life will hopefully change for the better...
Meanwhile, I spoke to a advisor from the Disability Rights Commission concerning taking both the employment agency who hired me and my employers to a employment tribunal as I definitely feel that they discriminated against me by using my epilepsy as an exuse to sack me because they couldn't be bothered to get the equipment that I needed and because of those bastards being lazy, I ended up having 3 attacks, any of which I could have died from...
I'm determined to get justice for myself and besides, if they think I'm just going to go away and forget that I exist, they've got another damn think coming as I'm determined to get what I feel is due to me and if it involves thousands of pounds in compensation; even better! ^_^
If I did get compensation, I'd use some of it to go on holiday and save the rest for a rainy day or an emergency...
Meanwhile, I went to Manchester yesterday to sign up with a job agency called Jobwise and I truly hope I can get a job thru them as they seem to really care about the temps that they place with various companies and when I explained to the consultant that I suffered from Photosensitive Epilepsy [In other words, I have to be careful around computers], she was genuinely concerned especially when I explained about what happened with my last employer and she recommended that I speak with the Disability Rights Comission about what happened to me...On another note, I was supposed to do a assessment test to check my keying speeds but because the monitors were the flat-screen plasma type, they didn't have any anti-glare screens but they've promised to get one sent down from their Head Office and invite me back to visit them at a later date so that I can take the test...
All I can say is that I'm definitely impressed with Jobwise and if they can get me a job then I would be overjoyed as it's no fun being unemployed especially when you have bills to pay all the time...
On another note, the call centre course is coming along OK and I'm actually going to miss it but as long as I can get a job thru it or thru Jobwise then that's all that matters...
Also, I'm doing a lot of reading on guidebooks of Singapore and Malaysia, practising some Visual Basic at College and for the weekend, I'll probably do some more reading and vegging out...
On another note, a good friend of mine from Malaysia who visits the same website as me regularly which is called "A Sailor Moon Romance" and is called Tenko-chan altho her real name is Celine isn't feeling good at the moment as she's come down with a bad case of dengue fever and I truly hope that she gets better soon as she's been a good friend to me even when I was feeling really down when me and Ruby broke up...
She's also a very good artist and you can see some of her art here and here.
As for other stuff that I've done in the past few days, I cut out the cards with the Slam Dunk quote from baby_gwing and I carry one of them in my wallet and am still planning on sending one to Ruby with a small Valentine's Day present...
Anyway, for now I shall end my journal for the day and hope as always that I can have a better life and try to be a better person...And if any of you who are in a relationship are planning to spend Valentine's Day with their significant Other, make sure that you try to be there for them and that you don't lose their love and respect...
[5:12 PM]
*Name: Jason
*Birthdate: March 13th
*College: Liverpool Community College [Doing iPRO Level 2 Certificate for IT Practitioners (ICT Systems Support)
]
*Email: rune.jayce@gmail.com
Favourites
*Anime and Manga
*Tokusatsu [Japanese Superheroes]
*Densha Otoko [Japanese Drama]
*Videogames; especially RPG's and Fighting Games
Dislikes
*Racism
*Spicy Food
*President Dubya Bush
*Oasis [As in the band]
Wishlist
*To become a good IT Technician
*To visit Japan
Past Tense
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Introduction
Welcome to the new, improved and with added Sexy Anime Babe Factor "BorgmanAlpha's Most Excellent Blog!!!". This is where I like to write down my thoughts when I can about my world and life in general. I hope that you enjoy reading my thoughts and you're more than welcome to leave comments if you wish.